bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
two words...techno handjob
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
