Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
