: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Randomize
