just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
