Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
