Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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