Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
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