so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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