According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
