remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
