Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
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