My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize