the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize
