It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
