her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I have aggressive nipples.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
