Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
