yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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