this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
