operation have a gay friend backfired
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
