that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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