Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
