I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
