he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
