A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Randomize
