hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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