What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize