The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
