Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
