Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
