my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
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