very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I AM VODKA MAN
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize