She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
as a side note pls kill me
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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