bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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