just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
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