dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize