i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
