lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
