i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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