Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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