i permit you to call me
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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