no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
