hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
