oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
