i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
