It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize