the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
