i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
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