New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
