Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
