Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
