Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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