she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
pop tarts are not kleenex
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
