I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
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