Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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