tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
