Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
i now understand why vodka
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
