You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
