none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Just pee around me
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Randomize
