Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
