the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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