there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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