so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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