508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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