You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
