Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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