I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
