So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
