found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
