Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
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