You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
