He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
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